Not Bad

The principal at my school asked me to do a session during the new teacher orientation, "How to Survive Your First Year at [My Beloved Charter School]".

If you will allow me a very brief moment to allow my head to go large, I kinda knew it was highly likely that I would be asked to do so. And I knew that I would say yes if asked. Which I did.

This means that I now need to reflect on my first year and figure out how I did. To be honest, I recognize that I survived, that I have happily decided to do it again, but after that...I don't know how I did it! I have to figure what I did. I've spent so much time over the summer reflecting on what NOT to do again or how to improve things that I didn't spend any time on what to keep doing.

That's going to make for one heck of post soon, guys! Can't wait for the self-dissection!

In the meantime, let me leave you with a small taste of how much I (very currently, as in right now, not a second afterward)  rock at life. This is an email I received from my professor who evaluated my grad exit portfolio, which is a collection of narratives I had to write with "artifacts" I used or created during my time in the program:

"Ms. [Insane],

Congratulations!!! You have successfully completed your e-portfolio. This is by far the most thorough e-portfolio that I have evaluated in my three year stint as a professor here at [place I attend grad school]. Keep on being exceptional!!! You are one step closer to becoming a Georgia certified middle level mathematics/science teacher and completing your requirements for our certification program. Please see my comments regarding your e-portfolio in [software where I submitted the monster]. Congratulations to you again!!!"


Not bad, indeed. 

Seriously, Teachers! Stop this NOW!

Stop posting comments on your Facebook pages about your students. It can bite you in the butt.

Remember, if you don't have anything nice to say about a student, keep it to yourself!

Unless, I'm missing something, this stuff is common sense. Why isn't it being used? I don't get it. It's frustrating me. Really, am I missing something here? If so, I genuinely welcome anyone to challenge me on this.

Thanks,

Ms. Insane

Oh, and don't look up or befriend your students on your personal accounts. 

More on Teacher-Prep Programs & Research Methods & ...

I mentioned towards the end of my last post that this subject came up in my Research Methods class a few weeks ago. Mind you, the discussion was not framed in terms on our opinions of teacher-prep programs. In fact, here were the questions that framed the discussion...

"Art Levine is a critic of teacher education. You can read some of his ideas here:

http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2006/09/19/teachered

Questions:
1. What does Levine see as the basic problem with teacher education?2. Do you think teacher education is easily researchable? Can you think of a research question that Levine wants answered? "

Note that neither of the questions asked for our opinion on teacher education. I read the link the professor provided but wasn't satisfied, so I did some more digging and found the following: 

Levine's report called "Educating School Teachers" from which his remarks on teacher ed came.
A WaPost article Levine wrote on the subject in 2011.

Just a warning, before you embark, the first link is the entire report. All 140 & something pages of it. This is something to skim through in bits and pieces. The second link is a more condensed version of his argument. After doing my digging, I wrote the following on the discussion board (excuse the grammar, please)...

"It was hard for me to get a good read on what Levine's problem with teacher education was based on the provided link, so I did some digging. I found the link to his "Educating Teachers" report  and the link to an article Levine wrote about his report for the Wa Post in 2011.

I still don't have a great feel for what his problem is beyond that he thinks that many colleges of education are falling! He does give a variety of possible reasons: low admissions standards, weak, unfocused curricula, inadequate field experiences, limited contact with K-12 schools, and faculty who have been out of practice for a long time. Part of the reason why I don't have a great feel for his problem is that it is poorly defined. His reasoning for the "failure" of colleges of edu are too wide scope; any of the reasons he stated could affect how well teachers perform (note that I didn't define "performance") on their own.

With that said, my answer for question 2, is no, teacher education is not easily researchable. First, like in Levine's case, the problem needs a clear definition. For example, Levine could have started with "Do teacher's SAT scores affect their students' scores on the CRCT?" He could see if there is a relationship between the two, and then go from there. Next, a clear and measurable dependent variable is needed. In my sample question, I went with student CRCT scores. Lastly, the validity of the IV definition and DV measure needs to be considered. Someone could (easily) convince me that CRCT scores may not be the best measure of the effectiveness of a teacher, thus making its use in research not a good idea. Getting one step right is difficult, so it goes then that getting all three right is more difficult.

Perhaps, what Levine should ask is, "What teacher-related factors relate to their effectiveness?" He could examine number of pedagogy courses (or SAT scores, field experience time, etc.) and relate them to some student achievement measure, for example. Either way, some more (good) research may make his argument more convincing to the powers that be. [NOTE: nothing I said here is meant to be in support or against Levine's argument, though I do have an opinion!]"

Note how I did NOT give my opinion on the matter, because I wasn't asked for it. Most of the responses I received were thoughtful. Some folks agreed with me, and some thought that Levine's stance was quite clear. Then, I get a response like this:

"[Ms. Insane],

Do you believe that the measure of how much a student learned is an accurate factor/standard to grade teachers on their success? I have testing anxiety so I'd feel bad if my teachers livelihood rested on my testing ability."

Le sigh. My response to this poster:

"From the original post: 'Someone could (easily) convince me that CRCT scores may not be the best measure of the effectiveness of a teacher, thus making its use in research not a good idea.'

My purpose in mentioning students' scores on a test was not to insinuate that it is an accurate factor or standard through which to "grade" teachers on their success. My point was that it is a potential operational definition for "teacher effectiveness" or "teacher quality", for better or for worse. 
On an off-topic note, yes, I think some sort of measure (or more than one measure!) of student learning is but ONE part in determining the effectiveness of a teacher."

Ironically enough, in a discussion questioning the difficulty in researching teacher education and evaluating it, someone becomes an anecdote to strengthening my opinion on the problems with my teacher-prep program. It's not difficult to extrapolate from my postings that I generally agree with the core of Levine's argument in my own program. I can't speak for other programs, because I wasn't in them. In my own, though, I saw many of the weakness he points out: out-of-practice faculty, students slipping in through low entry standards, less-than-desirable student teaching, etc.  

However, I do wish that Levine's argument was more grounded in research. What exactly is his indicator that current teacher education programs aren't working? Standardized test scores? Number of schools making AYP? A general feeling or what? There had to be something that made him say that what's happening now isn't working. How did he come up with his possible reasons behind this "failure" in teacher-prep programs? Not to say that they are wrong (or right), but I'd like to read some studies that give his argument more of a backbone. 

____________________________________________________________________________

I loved Research Methods as an undergrad, and I still love it today. If I didn't like the classroom as much as I do, I would totally be in educational research. Who knows? I might have my hand in it somehow, someway one day. 

To make a meaningful decision in education today, it seems that at least a basic understanding of research methods is necessary, as it should be and should always be. Yet, the conversation becomes diluted and dumbed-down when extraneous details get thrown in. We were having an awesome conversation about Levine's argument and its basis in research, whenever the flavor of the conversation was watered down with an argument based on a personal feeling. 

Let me not get it twisted, humans are doing the research, so feelings, opinions, and biases are a part of the game. Yet, we don't invite them in and use them as arguments, which is why I preface opinions and feelings and label them as such. I shouldn't have to, because everyone should know the difference. Still, I will hear the "No, that wrong, because my cousin, Remus went to a school where...blah, yak-smack...and he won teacher of the year." or the "You're right because of blah, blah, at my school."

To be honest, I don't mind these types of comments, but I understand that these comments don't move research along unless they are being acted upon, which is why I ask for pieces of research whenever someone finds something that support or goes against any claims or opinions of mine. Just so you all know that I don't write in a vacuum; I often send my blog post along to teacher friends and respected professors of mine in the research biz, so that discussion and thought can be stimulated to move things along. In the case of the class discussion and now, I would love nothing more than to move along the discussion of the research of teacher-prep: how we do, who we let do it, and how we choose people into these programs. Yes, I bitch to vent, but I also do it hopefully to move things along in whatever small way I can. 

My Problems with My Grad Teacher-Prep Program

Just a brief note. Before actually writing this post, I actually begin a post about my graduate teacher prep program, but I never finished it. This first part is the beginning of the original, unfinished post. This was written in November 2011.


This is just my opinion. While I'm all about research and data (and those who know me well can attest to this), opinion (or "first-hand accounts") are not useless to researchers. In this spirit, I write!

My problems with graduate school are well-documented here on my blog. It is a frequent target of mine whenever I get the fine whines, but it's not because the graduate work is "time-consuming" or "difficult". I can handle both. What I can't handle is "wasteful", which is what this experience has been for me so far.

I'm working on a Master of Arts in Teaching degree in Middle Education Math and Science at a the second largest university here in GA. What all that mumbo jumbo means is that I'm in a graduate-level teacher preparation program, which is unlike the Master of Education, or M.Ed.

Hey! It's the present-version of Ms. Insane writing again! As you read, I wasn't a fan of my graduate program then, and I'm still not a fan now. However, now that I've come to the end of the road, I'll write more in detail about my experience. 


Again, let me note that these are my opinions, as in NOT SUPPORTED BY RESEARCH! If there are certain aspects that are, cool! I would relish reading these pieces, so post links or references.

The root of my problems lie in the following: a lack of focus on the practical, everyday aspects of teaching and probable low entry standards.

Lack of practical, pedagogical knowledge
          I've written about this already here and especially here. Still, to this day, that "Theory and Pedagogy in Middle Childhood Math and Science" course was the biggest waste of time in my post-secondary education career. The saddest part about this course was that it had the largest amount of potential to turn things around. It was a 3-hour class session every week. I would have loved for the first hour to focus on the theory-based readings, and the last two to focus on practical implications and practices from those theories we discussed the first hour. What we got instead was an hour of shooting-the-breeze style whine sessions (which as a teacher, I totally get the need for these) followed by the professor discussing how awesome her own classroom was without telling us why it was so awesome. This was followed by 30 minutes of her discussing the week's topic and then a hurried listing of the 901 readings and reflections that needed to be done on the readings. I was okay with the readings and the reflections. Too bad, we never actually discussed them and how they applied to our teaching philosophies and practices.

          I bring up that "Theory and Pedagogy" course as it was the epitome of the wastefulness in opportunity that I felt throughout my program. The particular program I'm in is built around the idea of having a cohort of preservice teachers taking the same courses together to create a sense of community. We would discuss and make sense of education theories, discuss together how these theories apply to today's society, share and discuss good, research-driven practices, and overall act as each other's soundboards and support system as we developed from pre-service to in-service teachers. Last summer gave use the background in theories. The fall and spring semesters (i.e. the Theory and Pedagogy course along with practicum) was supposed to be about the practical application. I didn't feel that was the case and many of my cohort members/my friends would agree with me to some extent.

          You could classify all of the cohort members as one of the following: a regular preservice teacher, a teaching fellow, or a provisionally-licensed teacher. The teaching fellows were those accepted into a special program that came with a grant, a year-long placement in a classroom in a high-needs school with a mentor teacher, and a high likelihood of having a job in the same school during the next school year. (Note that this teaching fellowship was not the same as the one I did. I came across mine while I was an undergrad, I didn't get a grant...I did land the job though!) The provisionally-licensed teachers were actual teachers without a renewable certificate. However, they varied in experience level. There were pro-licensed teachers with three years of experience and were some with none (me!). The regular preservice teachers were those placed in a regular practicum experience: one semester in one school doing mostly observations with a little bit of teaching at the end plus another semester in (highly likely) another school doing increasingly more teaching. Most of the cohort fell into the "regular preservice teacher" category. 

          No matter our classification, we all had a US, a university superior, our connect to the grad school while we were out in the field and the person who graded our performance through practicum. If you were lucky, you had the same US throughout both semesters. Because you are likely going to change schools (and thus mentor teachers), it would be nice to have some consistency. However, many of us ended up with another US for the next semester. I'll admit that in my case, my second US was miles more engaged and enthusiastic about discussing whatever was on my mind, teaching-wise, than my first one. In fact, I still communicate with her today and will continue to, because she has been an absolute blessing and inspiration to me! However, I don't think that my experience was common. My mentor teacher was also consistent, because I chose her and worked with her everyday. Again, most of my cohort-mates likely didn't have the same experience of having a consistent presence to help them along and support them.

        Yet, this is the whole purpose of student teaching. Whether it is a five-week program or entire graduate program, preservice teachers need a consistent, knowledgeable, and experienced mentor, advisor, or supervisor to help point out what is working, what can be improved, and possible solutions on how to improve. The US, while not as omnipresent as the mentor teacher, is supposedly the "expert" at this. However, I think that we greatly lose out when we switch USs halfway through. This blow wouldn't be anywhere near as damaging if we could keep the same mentor teacher throughout the year. My teaching fellowship before my actual first year of teaching saved my butt. There's something to be said for acting as a "fellow" in a classroom for a full year before doing it yourself. I watched an experienced, awesome mentor teacher at work for an entire year: I watched where she went right, where she stumbled, and how she bounced back. In the mix was me, observing, asking questions, jumping in to help students, and eventually, taking over the wheel. Whenever I did take the wheel, we would debrief about what I did well and what I could do better next time. That experience is how I largely avoided the year one ass-kicking many new teachers get. And to this day, even though my teaching fellowship mentor no longer teaches at my school, I still keep in touch with her. I shudder to think about how crappy of a teacher I would have been without that fellowship. That's not to say that the regular preservice teachers are screwed. In fact, some of them are the hardest-working and most talented out of the entire cohort, and they will do great. However, it would have been nice if our program didn't stack the deck against them.

Note: Many out there are likely thinking, "How did this affect you personally?" The answer is that most of this didn't, because of my mentor teacher and second US. However, at the beginning of the year when I could have used more practical strategies to help my students, I was left hanging by the course that I thought would have been the most helpful and by my US, though her lack of presence was not likely her fault, but the school's for stretching her too thin. 

Probable Low Entry Standards
         I'm going to keep this part short, because as I said in my last post, if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. Yet, I feel compelled to say that while most of my fellow cohort members are intelligent and hard-working individuals, too many for my comfort were not. I genuinely felt concerned about these people having their own classroom in the near future, and I still do. For example, there is no excuse  for a future science teacher to not know why we have seasons! There is no reason for thinking that merely showing a Brain Pop video on organelles is sufficient to teaching students about organelles. And yes, knowing that 'b' is a constant in the algebraic equation 'y = mx +b' matters when you teach it! Also, knowing the difference between an "expression" and "equation" matters. Say what you will about TFA, they got the idea of selection right.


        While I am plenty disappointed in my graduate program, they didn't get everything wrong. I do appreciate the courses on educational foundations, theory, and diversity, which you just can't get in a classroom. While it's not something I think about everyday, what I learned in those courses helped me put a lot of what happens in and around my classroom into proper context. Without context, I wouldn't understand many policies and the reasoning behind them nor would I understand the underlying processes at work in many practical ideas. In fact, it is from these theories and ideas from education thinkers around long before us that these practical ideas are born.


        I am grateful for the contacts I have made through my program both personal and professional. I am also grateful that there were online courses available, so that I could continue to teach and learn at the same time. In fact, most of the courses that have been the most enjoyable and helpful to me have been online. Online courses are a blessing to teachers who want to grow professionally without having to sacrifice their classrooms. 

       I don't know whether my problems with my grad school program are school-specific or system-wide. Perhaps, it may have something to do with how I feel teachers are trained (which was a point of discussion in my Research Methods class two weeks ago...I may post my discussions!), because most of my problems are centered around the quintessential in teacher-prep programs, the student-teaching experience. Either way, I'm grateful I'm at the finish line.

Now, what's next? TFA or more grad school?

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say, Keep It to Yourself

From the Philadelphia Inquirer: "Bucks County Teacher Whose Blog Made Headlines is Fired"

Last year, Natalie Munroe, a teacher in Pa., came under scrutiny when a blog of hers was brought to the attention of the school officials where she works. That's not all...a particular blog post of hers was under question. She wrote a lot of not nice things about her students and school. In her interview last year with Robin Roberts on "Good Morning America", she basically said that her comments were not aimed at specific students, rather they were aimed at caricatures of students. I kinda understand that. Maybe it wasn't aimed at a specific student or two, but I think her comments were definitely about groups of students she has come across before. 

With that said, this post is NOT meant to admonish her or judge her. Mrs. Munroe is entitled to her opinions as much as the next  person and is just as entitled to share them. However, there are consequences to sharing your opinions. Sometimes, they are minimal and in some cases, they are quite expansive, like in Mrs. Munroe's case. Also, the consequences for sharing your opinions can be positive, negative, or absolutely nil. I also don't think that it is wrong for teachers to blog. Duh. "Teaching is Insanity", anyone? However, one thing you will never see on my blog (which consist of my opinions) is an obliteration of any of my students, my school, the community in which I work, the parents of my kids, my co-workers, my administration, or even caricatures based on any of these groups. Criticism? Fair game. Mean-spirited discussion? Never. 

First, it is in my nature to keep discourse as polite and kind as possible, because I have neither the time nor the patience to put up with anything less. People that know me well know that when conversations get nasty, I walk out or hang up until things get back on a human level. I don't accept nastiness from anyone, so I don't spew it. Second, I recognize that behind every policy and action is an actual human being. Now, the amount of humanity actually possessed is questionable, but I assume that a good amount is there until otherwise proven wrong. If I don't like something, I usually will say so, along with a suggestion or two on how to improve it. If it doesn't get change, I'll do my own thing. Third, meanness doesn't really fix anything, so why bother with it? How is stating "I hear the trash company is hiring" adding to the discussion about why some students are so unmotivated? Is this meant to motivate them, perhaps? (That's a real question.) I know that if it were aimed at me or my class, it would piss me off and motivate me to raise hell. (High school Ms. Insane was nowhere near as mellow as the current iteration.)

I know how hard it is to keep discussion as polite as possible. There are some days, I come home and want to unload a whole lot of nasty, because my day was nasty. I get the frustration of teaching today. We are asked to do some much more with some much less, including in some case, base-level respect. Some kids seem to come to school only to tap dance on that one nerve you have left. 

Imagine Savion Glover tapping on one of your nerves.

Still, and especially if you are going to express yourself online in ANY form, it is important to keep discourse polite. Even it is not for the same reasons I do, keep it polite. As the old saying goes, "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself". Or at least off the internet.

Let's Try This Again

I'm baaaccckkk!

After the long sabbatical from blogging, I'm happy to be back at it! I'll keep the update brief and confine it to a paragraph...

December was my teaching nadir. (Every morning began with me through my alarm.) January was the beginning of the precipitous downhill slide to the CRCT in April, so I had no time to wallow in my funk. In other words, it was do-or-die time. Obviously, I'm writing, so I didn't die. I "do"ed.  Better yet, my kids "do"ed quite well on the CRCT. Also, they launched pretty awesome egg-protection devices from the third floor. 

My room smelled like a giant fart for days.

I survived through the school year and have decided to continue to teach, which is the real victory! In all seriousness, I don't wish the fatigue and the cripplingly amount of self-doubt and criticism on anyone. I do wish that everyone could see my kids and the pride in themselves when their eggs lived after their drop. That was awesome finish to the year and awesome reminder that the real purpose of teaching is not the CRCT (though, seriously, my kids' scores kicked butt).

I'm back to blogging now, because I'm desperately avoiding grad school work. Thankfully, the time-suck that is grad school ends at the end of the summer. Before the summer is out, I will fully unload my frustration with grad school. Through my procrastination efforts, I've found several teaching-related blogs, though for my TFA-wary friends, note some of them are written by TFA folks. Though, FYI, I feel myself going in that direction... (I owe another blog post on that as well). 

Accidentally tripping upon my own blog is what really got me back to blogging. Reading through my own post was fascinating. I found myself laughing, cringing, reminiscing, and vowing to never again to do or say certain things. Teaching is such a fun and rewarding trip that I rather like documenting, reviewing, and discussing the journey! Even during the summertime when I'm not being paid to think about my classroom, I already have a few organizational and instructional ideas that I'm forming and modifying now based on stuff I've been reading. You could either classify this as sad or super-dedicated. (Let's go with door #2, please.)

Long story...well, not made short, because this post is NOT short. Brevity is not my strong suit...

I'm back and better than last year, but only because I have a year under my belt now. If not, I would still suck. 

As a closing, I will leave you with something someone should have sat me down in front of last year at this point in time

The Myth of the Super Teacher from EdWriters on Vimeo.

IDK What to Title This Thing

That's honest; I really don't know what to title this post. I just know that I need to write, and here's my avenue:

• I survived? I think? I don't know. Probably. Towards the end of the semester, I got better at recognizing that my Teacher/Personal/Life To-Do List will never have all the items crossed off on it, so why fight it? Some things are more important today than others. Sleep is always important. Maintaining physical and mental health comes first. I have successfully maintained both, so let's say that I have survived!

• Graduate school is still BS. Even though I squeaked out good grades in both of my classes this semester, my opinion on the institution has not changed. In fact, it may have declined. The sad part? I've come to terms with the fact that grad school will be a part of my life through the Ph.D program I will inevitably complete. While I have time during this break, I may go back and explain my problems with my M.A.T. program at GSU as they go deep and wide. I promise though, not tonight.

• Maintaining a "personal life" and teaching is hard. Right now, it seems downright impossible, as all I see in my future are cats and balls of yarn. Internet dating, anyone? (I'm joking!) Seriously though, is internet dating in my imminent future? :O 

•  I'm super thankful for my job, the brilliant colleagues of mine who are directly responsible for keeping me from teetering over the proverbial mental edge, graduate school (grudgingly), and my wonderful family and friends who have supported me in this whirlwind year. To recap my year:
• November 2010: Accepted into grad school
• December 2010: Graduated with my undergrad degree/ Quit my part-time job of five years at the daycare
• January 2011: Began grad school
• February 2011: Started applying for teaching jobs
• April 2011: Hired as a science teacher in my beloved charter school :)
• May-July 2011: The ridiculous summer of 21 grad hour credits
• July/August 2011: Orientation at my beloved charter school
• August 16, 2011: First day of as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school
• December 16, 2011: End of first semester as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school

As much as I bitch about my life, I couldn't be more blessed. I asked for all of this, and I got it! While it is way more than I bargained for, I'm actually happy. Sure, some things and people have gotten left behind in this whirlwind, but I'm starting to see that it's for the better. 

Until 2012 (or sooner if I actually do the right thing and write)! Have a Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate (or Not). In my case, Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

- Insane Teacher