Reflecting On Year 1, Part I: What Went Right

As I wrote on my last post, I was asked to give a presentation during the new teachers' orientation on how to survive during the first year at our school. I gave myself kudos, but here's where the nitty-gritty happens: the reflecting!


I've been doing this on-and-off all summer as a means of developing new ideas or evolving older ones. Still, I want to do some in-depth reflections on what went right, what went wrong, and then what's next.

Because it's late, I'll tackle what should be the easiest for me to do: reflecting on what went right. I think I'll do it in a numbered list, because I will literally be typing as I'm thinking of my list. Hopefully, what I write will be readable :)

1. Establishing my teacher persona without sacrificing my out-of-class personality and without being false. How I acted in the classroom is pretty much how I act outside of class AND I kept teacher presence. From day one, my kids knew that I would not tolerate nonsense, and that my classroom operates on assumed respect from both ends. I know for a fact that this policy of mine is what helped me maintain "control" (I put it in quotes, because it's not my first choice of word...I think I would prefer "authoritative presence").

Outside of the classroom, I'm a light-hearted, jokey character and a bit of an introvert. I'm not a social wallflower, yet prolonged social interactions can tire me out sometimes. I have no time for nonsense inside and outside the classroom. This version of me (with a cleaner mouth) is who showed up to teach everyday: some days, I can deal with more light-hearted conversations and can really ham it up, and other days, I really just needed my kids to work independently and without much fuss to boot. And none it came off as false. They all knew that whatever the mood in class that day was, it was all organic. It wasn't a put-on for guests or admin. It was all Ms. Insane.

2.  I was good at putting my feelings and thoughts aside to get the job done. This seems to run counter to number 1, but this part is more about putting away the personal stuff. Granted, it was (and still is) easier for me to get excited about a lesson when I feel good about work and about personal stuff, but I can bottle up personal stuff, so that it doesn't mess up my day with the kids. Lord knows that there were days where everything sucked: long meetings, emails that won't deal with themselves, adults acting crazy, students acting crazy, etc. There were some days where I woke up feeling like poo for no apparent reason. Yet, I could contain my feelings to where they wouldn't contaminate my entire day. In fact, most of the days, I had a better outlook on my problems. There is something to say about being too tired to be mad, worried, sad, or much anything other emotion beyond "determined" to fix or get over whatever the malady may be.

3. My classroom blog: While I won't post a link to it, trust me when I say it kicked ass. The better, updated version of it to be released at the beginning of the school year will kick even more ass.

4. Keeping my adherence to (and belief in) the school culture. If someone were to ask me two years ago whether I could teach in a place with a "rigid" structure, I would have said no. After doing so for two years now, I can wholeheartedly say, "Sure. Why not?" I don't even think that rigid is the right word here, but it's the best I've got. Our school culture is well-defined and is to be fiercely maintain and to do that, our school has a definite way of doing things that if not done, can get a teacher shown the door quickly. I'm making this sound horrible, and to many people, it is horrible. Some have tried to do it anyway, but ultimately did not do well in this type of environment.

Being the light-hearted character, I thought that I would struggle to fit the way the school wants things done in the classroom to how I would do them without the structure in place. However, once I stepped back, I could see several aspects of the school culture where individuality and flexibility could take what may seems to be a restrictive way of teaching and doing things in the classroom into something that makes for a really special teaching and learning experience. I apologize for being vague for those you reading who don't me or where I work, but suffice it to say, someday I will figure out a way of describing this that maintains some degree of anonymity.

5. Eventually, coming to realization that I was doing the best I could as a new teacher and that I didn't suck. I'm not really sure if this counts in the right or wrong column, but I'll list it here because it popped up. Though this realization didn't come until the last month of school (after the standardized testing was over), I came to it and kept it moving. Even though I didn't see it while I was living it, I was reflecting and evolving throughout the year. My lessons in May blow the ones in October out of water. More inquiry, better discussions, more independence from the kids! While this all is a result of the kids' growth, their growth couldn't have happened with something being done right on my end. In fact, it had to be more than one thing done right on my end for the improved lessons to actually...work for the kids. And not that we're supposed to hang our hats on these scores,but my kids rocked their state tests. While we as teachers may not care, the educational overlords do, and these people keep schools open and running...and keep me doing what I love for another year. 


6. I never once hated my job. In fact, I really love what I do. Did I hate certain aspects of it? Sure. Who loves or likes every aspect of anything or anyone? Despite my disdain for aspects of my job (e.g. 35-minute lunch periods - 10 for transitions - 5 for food nuking/prepping time = 20-minute lunch), I never once regretted my decision to teach or take the job at my beloved charter. Were there days that I didn't want to go to work? Yes, and when the feeling was overwhelming, I took a personal day if there were no impending teacher holidays. I openly admitted that I took of my two personal days simply to go see movies, because I really wanted do something for myself that was not education-related.

Guess the two movies I saw on my  personal days. 

Still, even when things sucked, I didn't hate my job. Point in fact, I very much love teaching. It's still exciting and dare I say, fun on most days. I still get a bit nervous when the kids come in, and I still get a thrill once the "meat" of the lesson kicks. I still get crazy excited when the kids get a concept or when they have the "light-bulb" moment of understanding. I still enjoy planning lessons. I still like grading "A" and "B" papers when most of the stack falls in that ranges. (What happens when the stack isn't so good is something I'll talking about in Part II.)

While I'm sure I could think of more things that went right this year, this leaves me at a pretty good place for the night. I can refer to this list to help me once I start planning my presentation in earnest. 

I can also look at this list whenever my confidence wains as a written, public record of positive thoughts on what I think of myself as a teacher right now. I will definitely need this in November :)

Look out for Part II soon: What Went Wrong.