Going Back to Grad School?

Quick update: I didn't see my personal trainer on Wednesday for a damn good reason: I was getting prepared for my last minute sub because right as my planning period began, I was invited to go to a conference with the admin team! By the way, it was awesome! I came away with many great ideas to implement in my classroom (and validation for many of the ones I already use) and inspiration!

I've been talking about getting close to seeing the light, and I'm pretty sure I've got it right here. Yes, it is more grad school, and more to the point, more GSU, but this seems different to me. Don't know why, but it does. Perhaps it's because this will help pave them path onto the next thing unlike the MAT, which was the end of my last long-term goal. This particular degree is the beginning of the next long-term goal, which sad to say, I'm not ready to announce yet, because I still don't know what the hell it is.

I can say with certainty that I don't see myself teaching full time in 5-10 years. I'm not a 30-year teacher. Never have been one. Not to knock those who, but I'm too ambitious to settle here and say that I've made it, which explains my end-of-grad-school malaise. I set the goal about 3-4 years ago to become a teacher and complete my MAT to become a fully credentialed teacher. Ta da! I did it. Now what?

Here's the what: I believe whole-heartedly that things happen for a reason (beyond the immediate ones). There is a reason for me being on the new teacher induction committee; there is a reason for me being a department chair; there is a reason why I'm increasingly being asked to take on leadership roles without asking for them; and there is a reason why sometimes my first reaction in certain situations at work is to step up and take the wheel. Is this adding on work and stress to my life? Yes, but it feels good and more to it, it feels right. This is the same feeling I had when I realized that all signs were pointing towards a career in education. It's also the same feeling I had when I figured out what I was supposed to be doing in education: teaching.

Let me put this out here now. I'm not just doing this for an increase in pay or to put another achievement on my resume. There are many other things I could be doing right now that would make me a crap-ton more money and prestige. I chose to teach, because, among other reasons, I truly believe that a great education is the key to many doors in life. Coming from a fairly humble background, I received a kick-butt education. Why shouldn't other kids like me? I believe that my career choice is all about sharing what I have earned, which is a lot. I truly hope that at the end of my teaching career, some of my students can say that my sharing my love of learning and knowledge has inspired them to do ________, and they, in turn, share what they earn to inspire others. However, I can only share so much in my classroom. Once I learn how to effectively share on a larger scale, the classroom won't be enough.

My first love will always be the classroom, and for now, it's my only love. However, I like what I'm seeing outside the classroom, so I want to explore that for a bit, and who knows what can happen from there. 

Week 8, Take 2!

This week, I'm going to aim to be more education-focused in my discussion than I was last week. I actually have more to say about my teaching life this week, anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem. Where to start?

Principal "Insane"? Hell no, this is not happen today, tomorrow, or next year, but perhaps maybe a leadership position. Ask me at this point last year if I would ever consider leadership role or a role in education administration, I would have emphatically said no. Again, what a difference a year makes! This year with a taste of sanity and leadership under my tongue, hmm. Perhaps, maybe. Quite frankly, I really like the taste, but not for power or pay. In fact, I get no pay bump in my role on our school's new teacher induction committee. However, I am loving the fact that I have a more powerful voice and authority to exact change to the benefit our of school's culture and our school's students. 

In the context of my recent teaching-based "quarter-life crisis", I'm starting to see the light, or the next moves. I've always known a Master's wouldn't be enough for me. In whatever I chose to do, I knew that I would have to go hard or not do it. Now that I've chosen education as career path (and more than that really, one of my life's passions), I have to go hard, which means I have to go back. Not necessarily to GSU, but somewhere good to where I can be the best ________ I can be. What goes in the blank? Dean of Students? Dean of Curriculum and Instruction? Principal? Who knows? All I know is that I'm starting to see light, and I couldn't be happier. 

Leading the "Newbies"/Being a Mentor: As I've mentioned, I'm on the new teacher induction committee, which I'm loving. I get to help the new teachers, and peek in on the "new" teachers to get new ideas and strategies from "new" perspectives to the school. In addition to this, I have been given a teaching intern (i.e. part-time student teacher). No, I didn't ask for this person, and the fact that this person's COE even allowed him/her to be with a second-year teacher is absurd...but I digress! 

Since I have had this person, I've had to temper myself and realize that not everyone had the same experiences as I did. My student teaching experience was definitely not the typical experience. Not to toot my horn too loudly, but I'm awesomeness academically and when it comes to work-related stuff. Like I've said, I've been taught to either go hard or go home, so I go hard. I give 110%. Mediocrity tends to upset me, whether its from myself or from others. However, my perception on what is mediocre is different from what other perceive. When I was asked as a teaching fellow to take on a lesson, I threw myself into wholeheartedly. It's what scored me my current job. However, when I tasked my intern with two things, I got back an email full of "I'll do my best to....However..." and "I'll try...". To be honest,  I saw flames. What the hell do you mean "[you] will try"? No, seriously. "I'll do my best" should never be followed by "however". 

After taking a step back, I again realized that everyone is not the overachiever that I am nor should they be. This is a senior in college. While I'm not that far removed, a year of teaching has matured me a bit. I was every bit as overwhelmed, and quite frankly, nervous as this character. I worried about meeting my mentor teacher's expectations and I worked everyday to make sure that she saw my value. I think this person has down the worry part, but not so much the latter part, because he/she is so damn nervous. After coming to this realization, I've decided that I really need to step up and put the "mentor" in mentor teacher. Yes, this character's first lesson plan was utter crap, but it is my job to point him/her in the right directions, so that when he/she actually teaches my class, it would be a lesson that I cringe at the entire time nor will it be one that I tell the kids to ignore. It's my job to let her/him know that every teachers feels like a deer in headlights; it's just the response to those headlights that matter. While some teachers accept being run over and fail, other teachers realize that you fight like hell and smash the incoming car. It results in a few injuries, but all in all, nothing terribly catastrophic. (What a horrible analogy!)

Movie of the Week: "Looper", duh! I don't have the time to discuss this in the detail that it deserves right now. Plus, I'm going to see it again, so I'll have something educated to say about it next week!

Gym Update: Zumba on Thursday, and PT butt-kicking Wednesday. In other words...60 minutes of cardio in last week. BUT! This week, I spent an hour getting in my weight-training AND my 25 minutes of cardio. Tomorrow will be a repeat, thank you very much!

Final Thoughts: I'm still all about seeing the nugget of success everyday. Academically-speaking, my kids are improving! Unlike last year, I'm not banging my head into a wall when they crash and burn an assignment. I write my notes to myself to modify my LP for next time, plan something new for this year, and keep it moving. "Keep calm and carry on!" 

Week 7, Take 2!

Greetings, everyone!

I'm baacckk! I really didn't go anywhere. I just haven't been keeping up, but a small selected group of people who shall remain anonymous, because this blog is allegedly anonymous, have been nudging me write again. Plus, I want to write again. Within the month or so I haven't been writing, many things have changed for me professionally.

To summarize, I've added on the role of mentor teacher to several teachers new to our school along with taking on the actual role of mentor teacher to a teaching "intern". When I first stopped to analyze this, my first thought was, "What the hell? I'm only a second-year teacher." I'm still learning and growing myself, so who am I to tell someone else what to do? Then, I realized that this is not what I wanted out of a mentor teacher, and it's not how I will do it. I'm a support system; I offer advice and sounding boarding. So far, so good. There are some teachers that need me to talk more than others. In fact, there are some teachers I "mentor" who I'm clearly using for my growth and development. Admittedly, I really like these new roles so far. Perhaps, this is foretelling my future? We shall see!

Movie of the Week: This weekend, I went to see Lawless. It came out about a month ago, but I'm now getting around to it. To be honest, I haven't seen a movie since my last post, so this is my first in several weeks. The only reason why I chose it was because the showtime was the most convenient for me, yet I'm glad that I did see it! It was a fun, if unsubstantial, movie.Lawless is the true-ish story of bootlegger Bondurant brothers during Prohibition.  If you like your Southern accents hard, along with a good gangster flare, I recommend checking Lawless out. Even the massive amount of Shia LaBeouf didn't kill the movie for me. Tom Hardy and Guy Pearce more than enough make up for the Beef O.D. I seriously could watch close-ups of Hardy talking all day and saying "Umm.." in the terrific accent he has in this movie. Or in his own deep-voiced, British accent. Whatever. It doesn't matter the accent as long as the camera is zoomed in on his lips.

The movie poster didn't do him enough justice. 

In all seriousness, Hardy is the VIP of this movie. I can't think of a movie that he wasn't absolutely brilliant. His Forest Bondurant, the savviest of the three, is the most interesting character, followed by Guy Pearce's Special Deputy Rakes. Too bad most of the movie is spent of the baby of the Bondurant brothers, Jack (Shia TheBeef). Despite the focus on the weakest of the main characters along with the misguided tone (I still don't know what the takeaway of the film was other than Tom Hardy and his lips are hot and Guy Pearce does creepy very well), Lawless is a lot of fun. Note: I'm not a Shia hater. It's just that I'm too much reminded of the Transformers movies whenever I see him. I haven't completely forgiven him yet.

Which explains this totally superfluous still from the movie.

Gym Update: Last week, I was still recovering from a bad cold, so cardio and strength training was light. This week, I'm in for Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It's happening. I'm back, so it has to happen. Or will it? (No, really, it will happen, otherwise some of my "readers" will bother the hell out of me.)

I just realized that most of this post has nothing to do with teaching. I'm okay with this. Next week, I'll give you more of a perspective on how year two is versus year one. I feel as busy, if not busier sometimes, as I did last year, but I'm handling it better. Maybe even welcoming it, which has much to do with what I see as my future in education, but more on that later.

For now, I'll close with this thought that I'm working on: To truly to be about the business of working with my scholars to make sure that they are the best they can be, that means they need to be provided with the best teachers that we can give them. Along with other variables, the best teachers are, in my opinion, confident in their abilities and their passion to work with kids. In addition, they have balanced lives and are able to take and implement constructive criticism to become the best teachers they can be.

I've been hyper-critical of some of the new teachers I work with. As a "mentor teacher" in our new teacher induction program, part of my job should be uplifting these new teachers, not only through observations and constructive criticism, but through positive words of encouragement and through helping them see the small successes everyday. I seriously live and teach by the credo that as long as my effort into my work and into helping my students averages out at 100% or more, my kids are learning and will be great, when all is said and done. Not everyday is a 100% or even a 90 or 80 percent day...and that's okay! Teaching and learning is not done in a single day; it happens over time. I want other teachers to see that everyday will not be homerun, and that there is at least a nugget of success that comes from everyday, even it is just a lesson learned on what not to do tomorrow.

So...here's to that nugget of success tomorrow and everyday afterward!

He's definitely many nuggets of success!

Week 2, Take 2!

Still okay, even with wonky lesson plans! Last year, when my lesson plans went wonky, which was everyday, I would stay at school late and then go home and continue to work. And I would still fret over the damn things!

This year? Eh. I'll spend 10 minutes re-thinking some things and come up with something workable, if not pretty freakin' good. I keep saying this, and I'm going to have to say it one more time: What a difference a year makes!

Time to re-evaluate the goals from last week!

Movie of the Week: I should be embarrassed to admit that not only that I saw this movie, but I wanted to see it. Furthermore, I really, really liked, if not loved, this movie, even though it is horrible. This movie is cheesy, the acting is horrible, and it is terribly violent. Yet, my heart soared as I watched the horrible carnage on the sheet. As a black female, this movie shouldn't speak to me the way that it did. Without further ado, this movie, that is so bad that it's awesome is...

Damn right! I went to see The Expendables 2, and I loved it. Chuck Norris popping up to blow up a small town's worth of bad guys? Check. Jean-Claude Van Damme roundhouse kicking a knife into someone? Yes, please. Watching Norris, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzennegger, and Stallone shooting stupidly huge guns side-by-side? I demand seconds!

This movie contains every "Americans love their guns!" stereotype that has ever existed, even though the setting and many of the actors are not Americans. If you know me personally, this ideology doesn't align closely with mine at all. And yet, this movie rocks my heart. Can't wait till it comes out on DVD. No, seriously, I can't wait. I probably will go see this again.

Gym Habits: I made Zumba on Thursday night! I went Wednesday & Thursday for a total of 90 cardio minutes. Not what I was aiming for, but better than Week 1! This week, I'm aiming for Wednesday, Thursday & Friday. I've already logged 30 cardio minutes from my visit today, so I'm off to a good start!

To end things back on the education territory, I'm going to apply to TFA. I'll explain my decision in more details later, but suffice it to say, good options don't hurt. Whatever keeps me growing as a teacher for my classroom and my kids' sake is a good option, so here I go. Again, though, more details later!

Till later, folks!

Couldn't help it! JCVD is the best part. Seriously, go see The Expendables 2. 

Week 1, Take 2!

...and I don't want the blogging drop-off to happen like last year, so here I am. Physically tired, but otherwise in mentally good spirit. My good eating patterns took a bit of a dive along with the workouts, but next week, I will be sure to pick them back up. I have several personal goals that I wish to maintain this school year, and I think that I will increase my chances of these coming into fruition if I publicize them:

1. Go to the movies every weekend.

2. Spend at minimum 120 minutes in the gym on cardio. (Doing weights is easy for me cause I love them. Cardio can kick rocks.)

3. Blog at minimum once a week. 

Every week,  I will share my thoughts on the week along with my progress on my personal goals. Because this past week was the first technical week with kids and teaching, I start now!

Goal #1: I saw Bourne Legacy today. If this movie were an assignment for me to grade, I would give it a 80/100. It would totally be a 75/100 if it weren't for one reason...

Mmm...Jeremy. Freakin' Renner.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for arms and Ray-Bans. (If you watch the movie towards the end, you'll understand the Ray-Bans.) Seriously, Renner elevates what could have been a standard thriller. While Aaron Cross does not have as compelling a back story as Jason Bourne, I think that with the right script the character could be just as kick ass as Bourne was. They certainly cast the right guy; they just need to give him a better story and more chances to shine, action-wise. I do recommend at least catching this one on DVD if you liked the Bourne movie trilogy.

Goal #2: I sucked this week. I worked out on Monday for 30 minutes and Friday's day at the gym was weights with the trainer. I was too tired to stay for cardio. This week, I'm aiming for Thursday night Zumba (1 hour), 30 minutes after Wednesday's training session, and another 30 minutes on Saturday. One week at a time is all I can do, so I'm going to try to do right by myself this week. 

Goal #3: Is right here. Boom. Done. 

To add just a little more substance about education in this post, I will say that I'm amazed by the difference a year's worth of experience makes. I was more confident, more organized, and just plain better than I was as a teacher and as person at this point in time last year. My kids this year, so far, are great! They still have that old 6th grade veneer on them, which, I think, is making them a bit intimidated by us, but I'm sure that will change pretty quickly, so the real 7th grade fun can begin!

I'm stoked about improving my game, so that my kids can do even more growing than their predecessors. That's the one thing that made me a bit wistful this week: see my kids from last year. I could have been better for them, so that they could start better this year...theoretically. However, everyone has that first batch of pancakes. Hopefully, mine came out more like this batch...

Pretty good!

than this batch...

What the...?!

Now that I know more, hopefully this year's batch will turn out like this...

That's reduced-sugar syrup and "I Can't Believe It's Butter"...And now I want pancakes!

Stop This Train

      This week was the first one back to work. In addition to sitting in various meetings of varying degrees of importance and informativeness, I've trying to squeeze in the setting up my classroom in time for the new students' arrival on Monday. Perhaps it's because I'm no longer new to this and I haven't had a summer (and I'm typing this while listening to John Mayer, specifically the song, "Stop This Train"), I'm feeling rather...doubtful about this year.

       Note that this feeling has nothing to do with the school, the new kids I haven't met yet, or new colleagues. It's all me-centered (that sentence sucks). I'm in a weird place - for the first time in six years, I'm no longer a "student". I graduated from grad school. I did it. Now what's next in my journey? On top of that, I've made great personal strides this summer in terms of taking care of myself physically (i.e. I'm getting in shape and eating better) that I'm fearful of losing. Again, not one damned thing I just mention has anything (directly) to do with teaching. Yet, this weird out-of-school zone/fear of personal regression somehow feels tied to it. 

     I think that the connection lies in the fact that teaching last year encompassed so much of time and life. My interests were put aside, my health was a peripheral concern, and my time was given to teaching first and foremost. When I did the new teacher orientation, I made sure to mention that our students deserve teachers on their 'A' game, and those teachers are usually the ones who are well-rested, good at coping with stress, and in general, taking good care of themselves. Granted, I said this to them not as someone who actually did this, but as someone who did the opposite and paid for it. I suppose the overarching questions of this school year will be: How can I balance what's best for the students with taking care of myself physically and mentally? What are my next professional moves that maximize benefits for future students/schools that I work for and for myself?

     To wrap this waxing poetic and tie back to John Mayer, "Stop This Train" was John's musing being in the weird transitional place when getting older, which is apropos. I think this is where I am. I recently "celebrated" a birthday, I'm finally taking a break from school, and I'm starting to make personal strides. I was in familiar space, and now, I'm getting further away from it, which only begets uncertainty and doubt. I remember feeling this way once before - the summer after I graduated from high school. I didn't do so bad after that train ride, did I?

 

Reflecting on Year 1, Part II: What Went Wrong

Reflecting on Year 1, Part I: What Went Right was my first step in the planning process for this orientation sessions, so here goes Part II. Like last time, I'm rolling stream of consciousness, so I apologize for the numerous typos, in advance, though I am trying to get better at reducing them and editing myself as I go...

1. Not Budgeting Enough Time for Myself: This is totally "selfish" in that, theoretically, this list should be about errors that affect the students. Yet, I think this one does, if not directly. A tired, frustrated, burned out, and unhealthy teacher is not the best one, and at several points in the year, I became that teacher. It was when I was exercising, sleeping, leaving the building at a good time, quitting all work by a certain time, eating well, socializing, and overall, just taking care of myself that I was at my best as a teacher. I got more organized, more efficient, and planning better lessons.

2. Re-Inventing the Wheel Too Damn Often: Engaging, effective lesson ideas were planned before me and are out there for the using. Forms and templates were created before me. Organization systems were thought of by more organized teachers than me. So why the hell didn't I use any of these until later on in the year? Because I thought I knew better, which brings me to...

3. Believing in the Super Teacher Myth: I thought I would be the BEST TEACHER EVER in year 1. Hell, no. Pretty good for a first-year? I'll take that. Look up See Me After Class by Roxanna Elden, especially if you are going into your first-year, though it's good for any teacher in her/his formative years.

4. Self-Doubting Myself: Because on the reinventing of the wheel and believing in the super teacher myth, I did real damage to myself through a lot of self-doubt. "Why isn't my activity going the way I planned for it to?" "Why the hell do their benchmark scores suck so badly?" "No, seriously. I taught them that. I. TAUGHT. THEM. I swear I taught them. Why are they acting like I didn't teach them?!" I really thought it was be being a sucky teacher, but no. This is something that almost every teacher experiences. Natural ebb-and-flow in the classroom.

I have enough ideas to develop this presentation for tomorrow. At some point, I'll share it. While there are plenty of things that went wrong last year, in total, I must have done well, because the kids learned :)