IDK What to Title This Thing

That's honest; I really don't know what to title this post. I just know that I need to write, and here's my avenue:

• I survived? I think? I don't know. Probably. Towards the end of the semester, I got better at recognizing that my Teacher/Personal/Life To-Do List will never have all the items crossed off on it, so why fight it? Some things are more important today than others. Sleep is always important. Maintaining physical and mental health comes first. I have successfully maintained both, so let's say that I have survived!

• Graduate school is still BS. Even though I squeaked out good grades in both of my classes this semester, my opinion on the institution has not changed. In fact, it may have declined. The sad part? I've come to terms with the fact that grad school will be a part of my life through the Ph.D program I will inevitably complete. While I have time during this break, I may go back and explain my problems with my M.A.T. program at GSU as they go deep and wide. I promise though, not tonight.

• Maintaining a "personal life" and teaching is hard. Right now, it seems downright impossible, as all I see in my future are cats and balls of yarn. Internet dating, anyone? (I'm joking!) Seriously though, is internet dating in my imminent future? :O 

•  I'm super thankful for my job, the brilliant colleagues of mine who are directly responsible for keeping me from teetering over the proverbial mental edge, graduate school (grudgingly), and my wonderful family and friends who have supported me in this whirlwind year. To recap my year:
• November 2010: Accepted into grad school
• December 2010: Graduated with my undergrad degree/ Quit my part-time job of five years at the daycare
• January 2011: Began grad school
• February 2011: Started applying for teaching jobs
• April 2011: Hired as a science teacher in my beloved charter school :)
• May-July 2011: The ridiculous summer of 21 grad hour credits
• July/August 2011: Orientation at my beloved charter school
• August 16, 2011: First day of as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school
• December 16, 2011: End of first semester as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school

As much as I bitch about my life, I couldn't be more blessed. I asked for all of this, and I got it! While it is way more than I bargained for, I'm actually happy. Sure, some things and people have gotten left behind in this whirlwind, but I'm starting to see that it's for the better. 

Until 2012 (or sooner if I actually do the right thing and write)! Have a Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate (or Not). In my case, Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

- Insane Teacher

I need a bottle of fine whine...

Let's open this bottle of fine whine:

• Parents are crazy. From the "outside" looking in, perfectly reasonable (I'm assuming) people go absolutely nuts over their kids, whether it's necessary or not. Time to reevaluate the sanity of mine. Surely, they weren't this kooky? Right?

• Field trips are crazy. And tiring. And time consuming. 



At least, I got to come back with this. 

• Testing sucks. Developing a test or compiling test questions is the most soul-sucking task I've had yet as a teacher. Test days themselves suck. It takes all I have to not say after 10 minutes, "All right! 100s for participation. Let's talk about the energy transformation in explosions!"

• Graduate school and being a first-year teacher is the one of the worst situations I've ever put myself into. Seriously. 

Honestly, it would all be easier without this "Theory and Pedagogy in Middle Childhood Science and Math" class in my life. Or maybe it is the self-congratulating professor I could do without. Normally, I don't like calling specifics out in my life, so I don't. However, this class will be an exception. Excuse me for a moment while I go all "Inception" on my fine whines.

• Assigned readings that are 30 pages are a waste of time, especially when we don't discuss it or we discuss it at a superficial level. Why the hell are we wasting time figuring out how cells can relate to students? Let's talk about the variety of research on inquiry-based teaching methods. No? We're seriously going to talk about dude in the back and his adventure with an unruly student (which is the same "adventure" every teacher deals with at some point in time)? Yup. Wasted afternoon. 

• By the way, discussing the definition of the word does not a deep conversation make. No joke, an entire session was dedicated to what does the word "inquiry" mean. Did this lead to a conversation on what makes a good inquiry-based lesson or lab versus a bad one? No, it did not. Yet another Tuesday afternoon wasted. 

• Oh. I take the last bullet back (partially). We did discuss what some other dude who reported on another dude's research said made a good inquiry-based lab. However, I've got a question. When exactly do we let the students come up with their own instructions on how to do the lab (open-question inquiry lab, BTW)? I know we are all "constructivist" and stuff, but should I really let them "construct" their own labs without anything else beforehand? How reasonable is this? When in the "learning cycle" should we try to implement this? No discussion? No. Okay. And we're back to another wasted Tuesday afternoon. 

• Please stop telling us how awesome your lesson was unless we are about to deconstruct it to figure out why it was good, especially if you are not going to share what you did. You're wasting class time. 

My bottle of fine whine is empty, so I'll end on positive notes about my original three bullets. 

• If I were a parent, I would go just as hard for my kid. While it is annoying sometimes juggling parents, I try to keep in mind that (a) these crazy parents kept the doors of my school open, and (b) these parents actually respect me and my word enough that they ask me the 1,987,378,432 questions that they do. 

• Field trips are crazy. And tiring. And time consuming. But hell of a lot of fun. I had a good time experiencing the wonders of life with them, and more importantly, they had a good time and learned a lot!

•  Testing is still a drag, but it's a necessary evil that I'll learn to live with. Besides, it is a good feeling when they do well. 

If it is not obvious, let me state it: I love teaching. I love my school and my kids (though I don't say it enough to them). I hate graduate school :)

Five Minutes of Reflection #2

• The gym will be my saving grace. While I'm generally not a fan of extreme physical exertion, it has done wonders for my stress level and my energy level. Nothing like exchanging mental anguish and pain (I exaggerate) for physical pain!

How I feel when 900 dudes peak outside my window and stand in my classroom.






• Oddly enough, I'm getting used to the "Fish Bowl Phenomenon". Just like the fish in a tank get used to the folks tapping the glass, I am too. In fact, I don't mind it so much anymore, though I did last week, when I decided to teach in silence one period in response to misbehavior. Oh, well. We never know what Ms. Insane will do next!



Teaching Fail of the Month

• By far, the dumbest thing I've done in awhile was "trying to be cute" today. I thought because we had "special guests" at the school today, I would be a little dressier than usual...which would include actual adult heels. Big. Freaking. Mistake. As I type this, my feet are propped up. Teachers wear flats (and are frequent patients of podiatrists) for a reason. EPIC FAIL, Ms. Insane. 

"...I [can't]...tell you [are] a first-year teacher."

Today, I had an individual meeting with the principal. (Yes, I still have a job.) It was basically just a check-in session to make sure I'm not of the brink of self-destruction (which I'm not fully sure of my status now).

Not to toot my own horn, but apparently, I'm rockin' it! This is not to say that I fully believe this, but according to my principal, for whom I have the utmost respect, I am. While I was secretly pleased at this bit of head-patting, it all makes sense  now.

Definition of "it":

• Covering class
• Locker assignments
• And now, field trip planner lead on my team. 

This was further confirmed by the following statement, "If I didn't know you, I wouldn't be able to tell you were a first-year teacher."

What?

Now, I'll admit to stepping into some of "it" all on my own ("I'll cover her class. Just give me a second to grab a Diet Pepsi"). I'll also allow for the possibility that I may be too harsh a critic of myself, but heck, no. I exhibit all the signs of a new teacher: inefficiency, a general aura of I-do-not-know-how-to-teach-this, a constant feeling mix of fatigue and energy, and a look of "I'm in over my head" on my face everyday (or is this just me? Probably. Definitely.)

At the end of the day, though, whatever I'm doing, I need to do it better, so I can feel the swagger that apparently everyone else can see. I'll take it. Let's put this in the "win" category :)

Five Minutes of Reflection #1

Nothing with be titled "...of the week" anymore, as it makes me a liar. My last post was on the 31st of last month, and it is now the 13th. Boo.

I'm feeling reflective between the 900 visitors in my classroom throughout the week and grad class this evening, so here's 5 minutes' worth of thoughts.

• The Director of our network/district visited my classroom. With a visitor. While I was standing on a desk. Shoeless. I didn't get fired, so yay? In all seriousness, it's how I roll in my classroom. I leave hoarse everyday and tired as crap, but they can't help but be engaged in the insanity of "Insane" teacher's class. I think I'm that teacher. Similar to that kid, except in adult form and much more appropriate. 
• First official evaluation this week from two sides: Principal and University Supervisor. On the same day. At the same time. Both went well! I'm happy to saw the the principal actually commented me on my tables (these pictures of my room will happen one day) and boards. The US said my lesson was "wonderful". Though I never thought of myself as a person who needs praise, it felt freaking great to hear the positive feedback on my teaching. While I get this from the kids through assignments and assessments, it's nice to hear knowledgeable and respectable superiors say that I'm doing a pretty good job. This is especially important in light of the days where I ask myself if they are actually learning. 

I've gone over 5 minutes. It's been 7 minutes, so here's where I stop. Until next time. 

Middle schoolers FTW: Awesome Poet

To be perfectly honest, my day wasn't what one would call stellar. How I feel about my day as a whole is dominated by one period, my last of the day. We've had a rocky two days, so my last two days haven't been stellar. Whenever I get down, I try to find a nugget of goodness in my day. Luckily, I struck gold today.

One of the students in my 8th grade class came to me during transition time...3 hours after she had already seen me. I thought she forgot something, so I passively nodded her into my classroom while talking to another student. She stayed put as I finished up with the other students, so I figured something was wrong.

"J" hands me a piece of paper and asks me to read it. I start to look over it, and I realize that it is a poem. (By the way, folks, I'm not an ELA teacher nor do I pretend to be one.) As I read it, I'm moved by the fierce confidence projected from whoever's voice it is. This piece was a statement of individuality and pride in one's beliefs. To be honest, I'm generally not a fan of poetry, but this piece of poetry hooked me in to the point where I kind of neglected my hallway duty.

I finished and the only thing I could say to "J" was "Wow. Who wrote this?"

"I did, Ms. [Insane]. I wanted to share it with you first before turning it. Did you like it?"

Uh, YES! Two things struck me. First, power and confidence of the piece of student-produced poetry. Heck, let's just call it poetry. Second, she wanted to share it with me first. I can't pinpoint why, but it meant a lot to me that she sought me out to share her work. J totally made my day. I'm bone tired, but looking back on this, I endure for these nuggets of gold, when I get to see a student shine. These shiny moment light up my dark days, so in the words of my school's creed, "I must press on."

Middle schoolers FTW

"Dangerous Wands"

For teachers and/or Harry Potterheads (like me), check this out. It has provided me my laugh of the night.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/5803618/dangerous-wands