IDK What to Title This Thing

That's honest; I really don't know what to title this post. I just know that I need to write, and here's my avenue:

• I survived? I think? I don't know. Probably. Towards the end of the semester, I got better at recognizing that my Teacher/Personal/Life To-Do List will never have all the items crossed off on it, so why fight it? Some things are more important today than others. Sleep is always important. Maintaining physical and mental health comes first. I have successfully maintained both, so let's say that I have survived!

• Graduate school is still BS. Even though I squeaked out good grades in both of my classes this semester, my opinion on the institution has not changed. In fact, it may have declined. The sad part? I've come to terms with the fact that grad school will be a part of my life through the Ph.D program I will inevitably complete. While I have time during this break, I may go back and explain my problems with my M.A.T. program at GSU as they go deep and wide. I promise though, not tonight.

• Maintaining a "personal life" and teaching is hard. Right now, it seems downright impossible, as all I see in my future are cats and balls of yarn. Internet dating, anyone? (I'm joking!) Seriously though, is internet dating in my imminent future? :O 

•  I'm super thankful for my job, the brilliant colleagues of mine who are directly responsible for keeping me from teetering over the proverbial mental edge, graduate school (grudgingly), and my wonderful family and friends who have supported me in this whirlwind year. To recap my year:
• November 2010: Accepted into grad school
• December 2010: Graduated with my undergrad degree/ Quit my part-time job of five years at the daycare
• January 2011: Began grad school
• February 2011: Started applying for teaching jobs
• April 2011: Hired as a science teacher in my beloved charter school :)
• May-July 2011: The ridiculous summer of 21 grad hour credits
• July/August 2011: Orientation at my beloved charter school
• August 16, 2011: First day of as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school
• December 16, 2011: End of first semester as an actual teacher at my beloved charter school

As much as I bitch about my life, I couldn't be more blessed. I asked for all of this, and I got it! While it is way more than I bargained for, I'm actually happy. Sure, some things and people have gotten left behind in this whirlwind, but I'm starting to see that it's for the better. 

Until 2012 (or sooner if I actually do the right thing and write)! Have a Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate (or Not). In my case, Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

- Insane Teacher

I need a bottle of fine whine...

Let's open this bottle of fine whine:

• Parents are crazy. From the "outside" looking in, perfectly reasonable (I'm assuming) people go absolutely nuts over their kids, whether it's necessary or not. Time to reevaluate the sanity of mine. Surely, they weren't this kooky? Right?

• Field trips are crazy. And tiring. And time consuming. 



At least, I got to come back with this. 

• Testing sucks. Developing a test or compiling test questions is the most soul-sucking task I've had yet as a teacher. Test days themselves suck. It takes all I have to not say after 10 minutes, "All right! 100s for participation. Let's talk about the energy transformation in explosions!"

• Graduate school and being a first-year teacher is the one of the worst situations I've ever put myself into. Seriously. 

Honestly, it would all be easier without this "Theory and Pedagogy in Middle Childhood Science and Math" class in my life. Or maybe it is the self-congratulating professor I could do without. Normally, I don't like calling specifics out in my life, so I don't. However, this class will be an exception. Excuse me for a moment while I go all "Inception" on my fine whines.

• Assigned readings that are 30 pages are a waste of time, especially when we don't discuss it or we discuss it at a superficial level. Why the hell are we wasting time figuring out how cells can relate to students? Let's talk about the variety of research on inquiry-based teaching methods. No? We're seriously going to talk about dude in the back and his adventure with an unruly student (which is the same "adventure" every teacher deals with at some point in time)? Yup. Wasted afternoon. 

• By the way, discussing the definition of the word does not a deep conversation make. No joke, an entire session was dedicated to what does the word "inquiry" mean. Did this lead to a conversation on what makes a good inquiry-based lesson or lab versus a bad one? No, it did not. Yet another Tuesday afternoon wasted. 

• Oh. I take the last bullet back (partially). We did discuss what some other dude who reported on another dude's research said made a good inquiry-based lab. However, I've got a question. When exactly do we let the students come up with their own instructions on how to do the lab (open-question inquiry lab, BTW)? I know we are all "constructivist" and stuff, but should I really let them "construct" their own labs without anything else beforehand? How reasonable is this? When in the "learning cycle" should we try to implement this? No discussion? No. Okay. And we're back to another wasted Tuesday afternoon. 

• Please stop telling us how awesome your lesson was unless we are about to deconstruct it to figure out why it was good, especially if you are not going to share what you did. You're wasting class time. 

My bottle of fine whine is empty, so I'll end on positive notes about my original three bullets. 

• If I were a parent, I would go just as hard for my kid. While it is annoying sometimes juggling parents, I try to keep in mind that (a) these crazy parents kept the doors of my school open, and (b) these parents actually respect me and my word enough that they ask me the 1,987,378,432 questions that they do. 

• Field trips are crazy. And tiring. And time consuming. But hell of a lot of fun. I had a good time experiencing the wonders of life with them, and more importantly, they had a good time and learned a lot!

•  Testing is still a drag, but it's a necessary evil that I'll learn to live with. Besides, it is a good feeling when they do well. 

If it is not obvious, let me state it: I love teaching. I love my school and my kids (though I don't say it enough to them). I hate graduate school :)

"Dangerous Wands"

For teachers and/or Harry Potterheads (like me), check this out. It has provided me my laugh of the night.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/5803618/dangerous-wands

Teaching Fails of the Week #1

I think as a way to commiserate with other teachers, and hopefully, make other new teachers feel better, I will share my fails so far. What they don't tell you in teacher education classes is that it is 100% guaranteed that:

- You will not be efficient.
- Your to-do list will NEVER empty.
- You will feel like you are running in place.
- You will NOT be an awesome teacher your first few weeks (months?).

Without further ado, I present Insane Teacher's fails of the week:

- I fried my kids' brains. I thought teaching independent variables and dependent variables would be easy, especially because I had them set up an experiment on Friday with the intent to refer to it as a live example. Nope. Twenty minutes into 1st period, I knew that I would have to scrap my lesson plans. 2 weeks into the school year, 2 lesson plans altered by Wednesday.

- I learned to never to labs and hands-on activities without at least a day's worth of prep beforehand. Friday was hectic, and it was all because I didn't think my lab set-up through. I'm about to commit the same faux pas tomorrow, it seems, as I have scrapped tomorrow's activity in favor of another.

- If you are doing a lab with fire, please know what you are doing. I'll post the picture later on what happened. Let's just say that I'm happy that the incident happened on the weekend and out of sight of the students.

- Grad school + full-time teaching + being a first year = INSANITY. This is all caused by idiocy on my part. I'm now questioning my decision-making skills :)

There are more fails I'm missing here, but these are the biggest ones I've made. Despite my fails, I'm learning from them. Theoretically, the number of fails will decrease each week. However, as I've learned in my first two weeks of teaching, the theoretical rarely matches to the actual. 

Hobbies: Education

I'm two weeks into this gig now, with this week being the first week of instruction. After getting the administrative nonsense out of the way, I pleased to say that my first day of actual teaching went awesomely. Little did I know that seventh-graders would react to this

and 

as awesomely as they did. The discussion completely blew my lesson plans, but who cares when they totally understood the thorny nature of inferences in science from what was meant to be five-minute aside? 

Teaching is Insanity has been neglected as a result of my job, because teaching is busy. If I wasn't giving a pre-test tomorrow, I would be lesson planning and fretting for sure. As it happens, I will have a time on my hands, so I have the opportunity to have leisure time. How am I spending my leisure time? Writing here (about education), and reading my syllabi for this upcoming semester's class, particularly the one for my Teaching Practicum class.

Teaching/Education has apparently taken over my life. I'm tired. I've spent the last hour chatting with friends while responding to school emails. Even now, my mind is wandering towards my lesson on Thursday and the unit plan I need to finish within the next week. Apparently, I have no hobbies beyond education now, so here's to getting a new one: Sleep. 

Pre-Game Thoughts

I'm going to (try to) make this brief, as I have still have some preparations to do for this week, but I can't do much more without stopping and reflecting over the past week and the upcoming week.

Last week was professional development with the entire staff. As with all other things that happen at this school, the schedule given to us on Monday was not what exactly occurred over the week. Yet, this was okay. In fact, more than okay; it was great! It allowed some of us (i.e. the newbies) time to ask questions and get them answered by the school veterans in an honest manner. It also allowed us to take everything in without the inconvenience of having to edit our thoughts when in the presence of everyone.

 The details of PD would be boring to most people, but I'll say this. After getting my classroom finished (pics to come soon), meeting with my team, getting our hallway together, and meeting with some of our students, I'm less nervous and more pumped. I feel as if I have no time to be nervous, as I'm just too busy to feel it!

However, I'm not too busy to feel the anticipation of kids coming in on Monday and to feel the urgency to get the items on my never-ending "to-do" list checked off. And there you have it. This is where my mind currently is.

It's also on the "Mad Men" Season 1 episodes I want to finish sometime soon.

The two most common questions asked of me this week were "How are you feeling [about your class] [about the school] [about everything teaching-and-learning related]?" and "Are you ready [for your class] [for the students] [for who-the-heck knows]?" I haven't been able to properly articulate myself when responding to these questions. Because I've been BS-ing my responses to these questions all week, I'll answer them honestly now. 

Answer: If I have to assign a feeling right now, it's an unlabeled zen-feeling. I'm calm, yet I have this underlying sense of urgency. I'm not rushing, yet I'm ready to go into "grinding" mode things get settled. I'm nervous, yet I'm more focused on things, so I can't really feel it. The same goes for my excitement. 

[The BS answer: "I feel great!"]

Answer #2: As ready as a young, recent college grad can be to teach and take on a good deal of responsibility for 130+ seventh and eighth-grade students. Actually, is anyone ever really "ready" to do this? Yup. That's what I thought.  

[The BS answer: This one is closer to my real answer than the previous answer, "Yeah, I'm as good as I can be."]

I feel better (and more prepared for tomorrow!) now that I've taken a brain-dump (one of the teaching strategies I learned this week was "Dump and Clump"). Bring on game day!

Charter School Turnover

This article from the LA Times (it's in the feed as well) as popped up twice today in my personal sphere, in my Facebook feed and via email from a friend.

In short, the article discusses high teacher turnover in charters in Los Angeles. I suspect, though, that turnover in other charters across the nation are comparable...including mine. In fact, the principal mentioned the turnover during the interview. 

Of course, turnover is high here!

Yet, I still accepted the job knowing well that a nice percentage of my colleagues this year will not be back next year. I chalk the turnover to two things: the numbers of "hats" teachers in charters must wear and that teaching in a charter is more demanding than in a traditional public school. 

1. Because most charters operate with no input from the local school system, everyone in a charter school building has to do multiple things.* For example, one of our teachers is a teacher/website-updater-guy. Multitasking varies from charter to charter, and this may even occur at some traditional public schools. I'll venture an educated guess, though, and say that traditional public schools are likely to have a people dedicated to simply, say, website development or to data analysis. 

That brings up another point. With little to no non-financial resource input from local school systems and limited local funding, charters can't afford to hire people dedicated to a single, non-teaching job. As a result, everyone, including teachers, is likely to have some sort of "slash" in their official job title. 

* Some charters do have input both financially and otherwise, to a good extent,  from the local school system. To see what I'm talking, about, click here. 

2. Teaching anywhere is pressure-filled, especially during this current age of "accountability". Yet, after talking with non-charter teacher friends and some of my colleagues, I'm convinced that teaching in a charter is a bit more demanding (at least where I live). From the longer hours expected, the number of "hats" we wear to the fact that there is a contract hanging over our heads that basically says "Teach or else...", it's a lot to contend with, especially over a long period of time. 

Apologies for letting my freak flag fly.

With full knowledge of  the insanity, both perceived and real, that occur in charters and that comes with teaching in one, I took the job, because I believe in the mission of school. I believe in the people working there. Last, but not least, I believe in the leader that we have. The mix of these three factors convinced me that even throughout the madness of the school, we are all going to do great things. 

I'm extremely loyal to a fault (six years at a daycare as a part-time job through the end of high school through undergrad!). Probably a bit insane as well, so I'm good with my "crazy" charter teaching spot. 

My teaching hero?

Some people are not good with it, which is okay too. I believe that every good teacher has a school, where they can become excellent teacher. My charter is where I think I can become excellent, so while the odds are against anyone staying long-term , the odds have never phased me before. Besides, wouldn't want to work at Hogwarts the place where they can become excellent?

Student-teacher or teacher-teacher?

As some of you may know, I am in a master's degree/certification program, meaning that at the end of this shindig, I will leave with full teaching credentials in my fields along with a master's degree. In my cohort, most of everyone is a career switcher and has never taught before in a classroom. There are a small handful of people already teaching on provisional credentials. And then there's me, never taught before but has a job for the fall. 

[For those who have read my previous posts, yes, I was a fellow at a charter, but riding a bike with training wheels is different from riding one without the training wheels. Just saying.]

I'm in the weird in-between space. The "non-teachers" will be student-teaching for the year, while the "teacher" will use their classroom as their "student-teaching" experience. Technically, I'm considered as the latter, yet I feel like I should be considered as the prior. As I was emailing a friend, I said something along the lines of "...you will be a great asset to your students, be it as a student-teacher or a teacher-teacher".

How ridiculous was that! What does that mean? While I'm getting more comfortable with the fact that, hey, I will have my own classroom in the few weeks, I still feel like I have much to learn about teaching, curriculum, instruction, and the list continues. I know that I can be at least a good teacher for my students this year, but I won't be the best, precisely because I am still a student of teaching, curriculum, instruction, etc. I don't know everything or even a lot, right now. 

Officially, we are teachers, bur aren't we all student-teachers? Don't we have to continue to learn about teaching and everything that it is loaded with it? Do "teacher-teachers" even exist? If so, can you contact me, because I've got some brain-picking to do?

 Update: I just found out that some schools call teachers in training "preservice" and practicing teachers "inservice". I like this delineation much better. 

The CRCT cheating report finally hit the fan

There are no words for the actual insanity found here, here and here. I'm so angry that a relatively small percentage of stupid, cowardly adults are what reflects the values of the entirety of Atlanta Public Schools.

More importantly, these losers have forever put the proverbial asterisk next to the affected kids' test scores. These kids will never know whether their scores were because of an effort on their part or by the efforts of some jerk administrators and teachers that felt the need to cover their butts instead of...you know, teaching! This, my friends, is real insanity. 

No matter your thoughts on standardized testing, we all should agree that nothing is worth risking our integrity as educators and more importantly, that of our students. 

Cultural tension/prejudice: Why aren't these conversations happening more often?

The conversation began in class today. The hurt feelings were expressed, and finally, we got to see what happens "when people stop being polite and starting getting real". Too bad, it happened in the last 5-10 minutes of class, because at once, the whole class woke up. It felt like today was when class actually began.With new people in the conversation came the new perspectives I wanted, and I plan on discussing as many perspectives of this issues as I possibly can.

I shared my perspective on what may cause these deeply held racial beliefs that underlie racial tension and prejudice and my suggestion to help alleviate this.

After listening to my classmate discuss this and his perspectives, I realized that I am missing an important piece of the equation: In order for the healing of wounds from heavy life baggage, one has to want to change and be ready to change.

The conversation will continue next Wednesday, so I'm interested to hear more about this idea and others. Stay tuned, folks. However, that's not what this post is solely about. After class, I had an hours long conversation with some classmates on this topic and about how teachers approach "hate speech" in their classrooms, especially concerning homophobic hate speech. It was a great conversation, and I left it feeling better knowing that there are other colleagues of mine that are on the same wavelength when it comes to these issues. The only question I had left was why aren't these conversation happening more often? 


I'm taking a diversity class, and these issues of specific beliefs and values regarding different races and sexuality are just now being discussed in earnest after three weeks. I can only imagine, then, how often this comes up in a school. To get a take from the inside, I called up a friend teaching in a racially diverse system and asked her how often these conversations happen with students or with other teachers. Her response? "Never. No one's touching [these issues] with a pole."

 The more we are aware of the cultural values and biases we hold, the more we can do ensure that our students are being treated as fairly as possible. With that said, there has to be darn good reasons to leave some of our students exposed to alienation over something that's really not their fault, and I'd like to hear them.

'A' for Effort?

Just got wind of an LA Times story: Los Angeles Unified School District is putting a ceiling on the percentage that homework can count towards a grade. Teachers can no longer count homework as no more than 10% of a student's grade. 

Due to time constraints (the siren song of grad work beckons), I won't get into this debate now (though I'm curious to hear where other teachers stand on this policy). However, I do want to pull something out of article that popped out and deserves a quick note:

"Critics — mostly teachers — worry that the policy will encourage students to slack off assigned work and even reward those who already disregard assignments. And they say it could penalize hardworking students who receive higher marks for effort."

If you read a paragraph prior, you will clearly understand that some students not doing their homework aren't ignoring it for the heck of it. They have other more pressing things to do, like, supporting their families by working at night. If I had to choose between making money for my family and doing a coloring sheet or 50 practice problems when I understood well after, say, 10 problems, I'm choosing the money too. Or if I'm having to go to school all day and then go home to cramped and loud apartment, I'm not really caring about the Ms. So-and-So's paragraph asking me to regurgitate the notes from today. 

Don't get me wrong; I'm not anti-homework. In fact, I very much like it when it is relevant, reasonable, and most importantly, purposeful. Nothing irked me more in school than having to do again, something that we already did or something that really didn't help me to understand the concept. Indeed, engagement and practice with material being taught is essential for understanding. Endless amounts of irrelevant, unreasonable, redundant, and just plain dumb homework is not. 

Because my homework is meaningful and is meant for practice and engagement, I don't mind counting it for around 5-10% of the grade. A professor of mine likened the grading percentage makeups to sports: homework is the practice, quizzes are the scrimmage, and tests are game days. If you can understand this, you know why homework is worth so little. Off practice days will hurt a bit, but the grading on it allows room to make mistakes and grow from them. With that said, I'm not going to give As for effort on homework. Sure, if your homework consists of coloring sheets, what else is there to grade other than how pretty the picture is? However, if you are like me and  are actually putting thought and effort into creating homework assignments, then heck no! I'm not taking an "effort grade" for homework. That's what that other 5% is for (if you subscribe to this): participation. 

Would you give this a good effort grade? He did it after all....

We, as teachers, don't want our time wasted Why waste our students' time? It's only more work on us anyway. Give it when it counts. (Just realized I gave my input on homework after saying not now. Procrastination and wordiness at its finest!)

I Stand Corrected: 1st Edition

"If you are going home fried because your kids were nutso, you shouldn't be thinking about what rules were broken or what you'er are going to do to the kids. You should be thinking about your lesson and what you did. Good teaching is your best defense." - Professor S.

I stand corrected about this graduate school thing. If hear nothing else helpful during graduate school, this statement was what I needed. To recall, my last post "What's the point?" has an answer...Good teaching.

Cue Mr. Freeman....

It Just Got Real

Got an email with information on my start date. In the interest of keeping this blog as clean as possible, I won't post a clip of my immediate thoughts.

What he just said. 

Seriously though, after a few hours to breathe, I'm seeing the bigger picture again. I wanted this. I still feel the same rush of excitement I felt as I went to change my major to psychology as the first step on my way to doing this. I still feel the same passion for the field as when I first began embarking on this journey. There is not much more I can do to prepare myself other than getting off this blog right now and reading these articles for class in the morning.

Before I do that though, let me note. As much as I've been pontificating here so far, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a newbie and will continue to be one for the foreseeable future. I want to be teacher, because I want to contribute to the positive in the world, and the best way I can is by investing in the people who are upcoming. I don't know all the answers; I come only with questions and opinions. This public forum for me is a way to share my questions and opinions in the hopes for finding new ways of seeing things or contributing to the pool of solutions. Okay, done.

Yearbook signatures and other ruminations from the last day of school

Pretty much all the school systems are out by this time, and everyone is gearing up for a three-day weekend. However, before I close the book on the 2010-11 year, let me ruminate and reflect for a bit on a few things. 

Not a giraffe. Not a zebra. 

How many yearbook signatures should a teacher have? As I was asked to sign yearbooks, "yearbooks" (you know what those are), and other random things (see the picture above), I found my creativity waning. There's so many times you can write mush like, "Keep on your path to greatness."

Students who complain about school the most are the ones who cry the hardest on the last day of school. I'm almost ready to call this a law of nature. Without fail, the ones who were bawling were the ones who I could count on for a "I hate this school. I glad I'm not coming back next year." every time I was there. You sure showed us how much you hate us! Speaking of which....

Students who hated me wanted to hug me on the last day. Mind you, I never take the student-hate personally; they're teenagers, so they hate everyone. Still, it was a little weird that the kid who called me out of my name ("B....") wanted to give me hug. Yet weirder, she said she would miss me. Oh-kay...

On a more serious note, though...

I really am going to miss them all, especially the ones that gave me a hard time. I don't know why. Call it insanity. Call it Stockholm Syndrome. Whatever. My theory is that I watched them grow over the year. They came in as seventh graders, and they are leaving as high school freshman. That's a pretty significant jump to me. The ones that gave me a hard time were the ones who had the most growing to do, and they did it.

Even though I was only at the school twice a week, I felt a connection to them and seemingly, they felt one toward me. I invested in them, more than they know, and I got it back in leaps and bounds. Watching them on their honors day on the last day of school made me feel prouder than my own college graduation in December. Crazy, huh?

Days like the last day of school remind me why I chose to do what I do. I can't wait to do it again (by myself!) in the fall!

Have a safe, fun Memorial Day!

Why "Teaching is Insanity"

Beau: "You want to teach? Why?"

Insane Teacher: "I can't pinpoint one thing or another. There's the students and watching them learn and grow. There's the gratification of passing on knowledge to a new generation. I don't know. My heart is into teaching, not medicine anymore. Why should not follow my passion? Think about it. Why do you want to go into medicine?"

Beau: "There's money, prestige, and doing cool [crap] like cutting open people and saving lives. All good reasons to stick with medicine. There's no good reason to teach. Teaching is insanity."

- From a conversation between Insane Teacher and Beau (at the time), circa 2008.

_______________________________________

As I've been searching for a job, I keep thinking back to the exchange above. At the time, I was in the midst of taking the prerequisite classes needed to apply to med school. I picked my college on the assumption that I would go into medicine, and it never crossed my mind that I would do anything else. Who knew that 35 kids would rock my world?

As a part-time job, I worked with kids after school. I took the job thinking it would be an easy, part-time cash. I unconsciously learned the first rule of working with kids: IT'S HARD WORK! Between the fighting and crying and whining, they drove me up the wall. There were many times I thought of quitting, but for some reason, I never did. I couldn't, in fact. When the kids weren't driving me crazy (and even when they were), they had a way of charming me and winning me over.

Eventually, the prereqs and looking at med schools started to appear in the rearview and looking at pathways to teach appeared in front. Soon after, I changed my major from biology to something else that I thought would be more beneficial to me as a teacher. I signed up for some math classes and that was it. My mind and college track was changed!

___________________________________________

The exchange above happen when I announced to the BF at the time what my new career path would be. I keep think back to it, because he was right. To want to teach right now is "utter foolish[ness]." The current climate out is downright hostile towards teachers and other officials in education right now. I can't say that I disagree with some of the reasons of the hostility, as I see where it comes from. However, I want to focus on the positives of teaching and learning. Hopefully, this blog will help spread the positive, so that teaching (and education, in general) doesn't seem so insane to future educators and stakeholders in our public education system. 

As I close in on finding a job (prayers and crossed fingers, please!), I'm holding onto the reasons I want to teach and what I hope to bring into the profession: positivity and solutions. FYI, I'm wanting to teaching middle school math and/or science. I will post later on job status. As I embark on this first year of teaching, I want to share my journey, and hopefully, others will share too. 

Much love!